He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
