R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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