my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Acid is not a monday night drug
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
