Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
