oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Last time i carry you out of a forest
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
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