Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
