Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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