I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my shit smells like andre
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
