Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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