Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
