I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
