By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
