Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize