its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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