my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
