I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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