I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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