It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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