Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
