Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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