Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He better not be in your backpack
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
