What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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