You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
They have beer where we have blood.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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