guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
