I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
