how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i think i just lost a toe
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
