I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i love accidental penises.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
