I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I think I am morally bankrupt
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The ass gains better be worth it
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