508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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