Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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