dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
