Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
