I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
