apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
