He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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