We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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