he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
