This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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