I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
