i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I can't put those talents on a resume
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize