Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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