bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
