i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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