all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
