bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
