bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
