Define "chronic" masturbator.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
