who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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