Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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