just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
These tits shall not be calmed
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
