I CAN MOONWALK!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
