go do what you do best...puke behind churches
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
