I want you more than these girls want KFC
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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