1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
