told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
