Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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