just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
