We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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