I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We need a shit load of segways right now
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize