my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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